Mark Kassof Quotations of Chairman Mark

I just found this on the Bridge Ratings website: TSL is UP Among MP3 Users? OK, so it’s from last May and I’m a bit behind in my reading. But what it essentially says is: the longer folks have a digital music player, the greater likelihood that they are listening to it less, and listening to radio more, than they did three months earlier.

This finding isn’t at all surprising, for two reasons…

First, if you’ve ever had a new “toy,” you know that you use it a lot and first and then tail off. When you get a new car, you drive it more than you really need to; a few months later, you drive to get somewhere. There’s no reason iPods and MP3 players should be any different.

Second, radio serves needs that music players just can’t…

Digital music players are a closed environment… you get out of them what you put into them. So there’s no sense of surprise, even if you put them on shuffle!. You’re not going to hear anything truly new, different or unexpected (unless you’re listening to a podcast, but that’s essentially just a new way to deliver radio programming, even if it’s not literally “on the air”).

Radio is a companion for listeners. In our psychographic research, most rate radio’s ability to “keep you company when you’re alone or lonely” as an important reason for listening. How does a music player do that???

People are social animals. They want a connection to other human beings. They want to hear human voices, they want to hear others’ points of view, hear about others’ peccadilloes and they want to be surprised and even shocked sometimes. This is what radio can do.

We’ve always had ways for listeners to play their own music. Today’s technology makes acquiring our “own” music far more convenient and efficient than older tech (like cassettes) and that makes it a far bigger threat to radio.

This means playing the “right” music — while crucially important — won’t alone win the battle with iPods (or satellite radio). Radio can and must be a source of connection for listeners!

This is my last post about Howard Stern for a while, I promise! I’m still a Stern fan…I look forward to writing about how great his new show on Sirius is.

But that will have to wait. So far, it’s not even good, for reasons I outlined in the previous posts.

Let’s look at the bigger picture — how Stern’s move to Sirius might affect the Howard Stern brand. To get the answer, I’m reminded of Coors and Krispy Kreme.

Huh???

Both are former cult brands that lost their cachet due to overexposure…

Coors was once special. You could only buy it out west, and I recall guys making road trips to bring home cases of it from Colorado. There was even a movie — Smokey and the Bandit — about guys trucking Coors to Georgia.

But by the ’90s, Coors established national distribution and became Just Another Beer…one that most beer drinkers wouldn’t even cross the street to get!

Not long ago, Krispy Kreme donuts were only in the Southeast, and had devoted, even fanatical customers. Then it went national, selling franchises and eventually going public. Still, Krispy Kreme was special…you could go to the stores, watch the donuts being made and grab a warm, gooey one.

Then Krispy Kreme got greedy. It opened satellite stores where you couldn’t see the donuts made (because they weren’t made there). Soon, the donuts were at grocery stores and even gas stations. You could even buy ‘em frozen.

All of a sudden, Krispy Kreme’s weren’t at all special. Instead, the company is at risk for bankruptcy.

So what about Stern? There used to be four to five hours of him a day. Now, Sirius has two channels devoted almost entirely to him, featuring programs such as…

The Howard 100 News. Sirius describes it as: “team coverage of the good, the bad, and the ugly on the King of All Media…these seasoned journalists work around the clock so that you, the listener are well informed about Howard.” (Who needs CNN?)

The Wrap-Up Show. Gary Dell’abate (aka “babba booey”) and Jon Hein (from Jumptheshark.com) review each day’s show and discuss it with callers.

Superfan Round Table. John Hein and a panel of superfans discuss Howard and take phone calls.

Talk shows about sports, I get. Talk shows about politics, I get. Talk shows about a TALK SHOW???

Get a life.

Of course, I don’t have to listen! I don’t have to drink Coors or eat Krispy Kremes either. The point is that both brands lost their cachet due to overexposure, and Howard Stern may meet the same fate.

Now, we could at this from an entirely different angle. After all, Stern has moved from a bigger medium — terrestrial radio — to a more selective, limited distribution. Isn’t that the opposite of what Coors and Krispy Kreme did?

Yeah, but…I’m not talking about the mass market. Those who aren’t and never were interested in Stern don’t matter! I’m talking about those who are interested…interested enough to pony up for satellite radio. It is those listeners who could be overexposed to “all things Howard.”

There are show biz adages…Leave them wanting more. Don’t stage on stage too long. I think Stern once understood this. But now, it’s Howard 24/7.

And that’s just too much Howard.

Listened to Howard Stern again today. Again, flat and boring. And I just realized another reason why…

HE’S BECOME A SHILL FOR SIRIUS. Enough hype already…I bought the radio!

Wasn’t it more fun when he was fighting his bosses rather than pimping for them?

Last month, I got Sirius radio. I didn’t really want it, ’cause I’m not very interested in nonstop music. I’d much rather listen to RADIO, with production elements, commercials, contests, promos — all the “stuff” that makes it more than a jukebox. This may make me a bit weird, but I can’t help it…I’m a “radio guy”!

I got Sirius only because I’m a Howard Stern fan…I felt I’d miss him if I didn’t subscribe.

I still miss him.

OK, I know it’s way early to be judging Howard’s new show on Sirius! But three days in, it’s just not working for me. In fact, It’s getting me a little depressed, and I don’t think it’s me (thanks to Prozac…just kidding!). The show sounds flat, and I think I know why…

THE AUDIO SUCKS. Wasn’t satellite supposed to sound better than FM? It doesn’t on the Howard channels…in fact, it sounds muddy. I suspect Sirius doesn’t use the kind of audio processing that makes FM stations “jump” out of the radio. It should.

THE CUPBOARD IS BARE. Infinity retained all of Howard’s old bits, promos, jingles, music beds and drop-ins. They were a big part of the show’s humor, energy and (I think) the “in group” feeling for listeners who “got” all that stuff. This material was amassed over decades of brilliant radio and there’s no way to replace it quickly.

THE MEGA-BREAKS ARE GONE. Yes, we all complained about those 10-minute commercial sets. But maybe Howard and his crew needed those breaks to cut off bits that had run their course and to keep their energy levels up. (Could you talk nonstop for four plus hours?)

THERE’S NO VILLAIN. This is the biggie. Drama depends on conflict. But now, there’s no FCC to fight, no censors pushing the button, no Tom Chiusano to tell him what he can’t do. Howard’s energy and humor often fed off his anger. Who’s to be angry with now?

Yes, it’s too soon to come to conclusions. But I have a gut feeling that his move to Sirius could not only make Howard Stern very rich, but also unhappy, because I believe he genuinely cares about delivering a great show.

He’s got a lot of work to do.